The best retirement plans start with a plan for a fulfilling life first, then match up the plan with money decisions. That's why good planners ask, what's the money for? For most, it's not to support boredom, stagnation and decline. If you define what an ideal retirement means first for you, then your retirement plan and your retirement life have far better chances of success.
The best retirement plans start with a plan for a fulfilling life first, then match up the plan with money decisions. That's why good planners ask, what's the money for? For most, it's not to support boredom, stagnation and decline. If you define what an ideal retirement means first for you, then your retirement plan and your retirement life have far better chances of success.
What is retired husband syndrome (RHS)? I first heard of Retired Husband Syndrome at a book signing in 2013. From across the book section in the exhibit hall, I saw a young man with jet black hair staring at the back of my newly-published book, The Mindful Money Mentality: How to Find Balance in Your Financial Future. He turned it over, opened to the table of contents, flipped a few pages, and turned it over again. Until that point, he acted like other book-browsers: look at the back, flip to the front, open to the table of contents, flip to the back, flip it again. Some would then take the book to the register. Others set it back on the shelf. The whole decision took less than 2 minutes. But this young man took so long reading, I wondered if he might consume the whole book right there. Then I got distracted by conversation with another attendee. When I turned back to look for him, he was gone. Figuring he had decided against it, I was surprised a couple of hours later to see he was the first in line at the book signing. Retired Husband Syndrome – in South Korea Approaching with an enthusiastic smile, he said “Hello” in a heavy Asian accent. He was from Seoul, South Korea, (which, considering English was his second language, might explain why he took longer examining the book). He said that he thought the book would be helpful to his male clients. Unsure why he was excluding the female ones, I readied my pen to sign, but asked him to tell me more. “In Asia, we have Retired Husband Syndrome (RHS),” he said. “I’ve never heard of that. What is it?” I asked, putting the pen down. “Some husbands spend their whole lives working for a company, and when they retire, they are at home, and it is not good for the marriage. The husband loses his identity because he is not in his job anymore, and he wants to be home with his wife. The wife has been at home her whole life, but she doesn’t like the husband being there, doing nothing.” “So sometimes the retired husbands do…nothing? They don’t have hobbies or hang out with their friends?” “Yes, that’s right.” “Wow. So you must see a lot of marriage problems in your practice?” “Yes! And it is too bad. They have a pension, but the couples never spend time planning what they will do.” He explained more about the strain on the marriage; the sadness he sees at a time when there could be great joy and celebration; and the effect on their children and the families. "This makes me sad. Sometimes I am going to be the only person outside of the family who might see it. All of the financial advisors in Seoul could help people with this. This is preventable.” Retirement Planning Is About More Than Money I once heard a financial planner say, “We spend…
The Retirement Answer? A Blank Stare I had just asked a 59-year-old, "You said you can retire in 3 years. How will you spend your time after that?" Expressionless, all he gave was a blank stare. "I never thought about it," he replied. Unfortunately, he wasn't the first 59-year-old with that answer. "I don't know" is a more common answer than most think. More To Retirement Life Than Money According to a study by United Capital, when asked about their financial life stories, most people talked about working and spending, not saving and investing. Over the decades of our working lives, we tend to follow a formula: Work. Spend. (Save). Repeat. We do this knowing one day those (savings we try not to think about or touch) should equal a nice sum, hopefully enough to reach the nirvana of "financial independence." Along the way, we can get trapped into planning meals and vacations, but not a potential 25-year chapter of our life. If nothing trips up the formula (divorce, premature death, disability), then a milestone birthday, the loss of a parent, or the arrival of a new boss may cause one to dial up a financial planner and ask, "Am I there yet?" Are You "There" Yet? To which the answer is usually, "That depends." That depends...on where "there" is. "There" = how, with whom, and where you will find purpose, meaning, and happiness in life after your Work-Spend-(Save)-Repeat chapter. Once that's known, "there" can be translated into real financial goals. If you don't know what "there" looks like, then attempts to answer the question are merely rough guesses. More importantly, if you don't know, you're not likely to enjoy that supposed nirvana time nearly as much. There are many thought leaders contributing to discoveries about the time of life past "Working" and before "Old." That time of life, which will be 25 or 30 years for a lucky few, goes by many names: Your Third Age. The Third Stage. The Encore Years. Your Life's Next Chapter. Examples of such leaders include Dori Mintzer and Mitch Anthony. According to experts like these, retirement planned well has the potential to be a time of peak fulfillment and meaning. Not planned well, potential paths lead to boredom and, in the worst cases, clinical depression. Real Retirement Planning Many people think "retirement planning" means "IRA investments" or "401K rollovers" or "pension options." Those are certainly part of it. But the best, yet sometimes the most difficult, kind of retirement planning is not found on your retirement account statements. It's found inside of you. Begin with a blank stare, and build your "There." That's real retirement planning. Not sure where to begin? Check out this free download: https://www.hollydonaldsonfinancialplanner.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Beyond-the-Numbers-Whats-Retirement-Money-For.pdf for a questionnaire about what kind of retirement lifestyle choices are ideal for you. Or subscribe to the award-winning monthly letter, "The View From the Porch," at https://bit.ly/3t2uwfn.
5 top books read in 2023: What books made an impact on you last year? Each year a few selections from the prior year's reading are highlighted here. For 2023, below are 5 favorites (actually, 4 books and 1 app) from finance and retirement, self-help, and fiction. Finance and Retirement The finance and retirement book recommendation this year is Get What's Yours: The Secrets to Maxing Out Your Social Security, by Lawrence Kotlikoff, Paul Solomon, and Philip Moeller. Although published in 2016 it's been updated for current changes to the claiming rules. Do you really need to read a book about Social Security? Isn't filing pretty straightforward? Maybe, maybe not. It's easier to say who would not necessarily benefit from the book than who would. The book might not be for you if: you already filed for Social Security more than 12 months ago (because, did you know everyone gets a one-time filing do-over in the first 12 months?); or you are not yet 62 and you and your spouse have never been divorced, disabled, widowed, or worked for an employer who opted out of participating in Social Security (generally this would be certain railroad companies or municipal governments). These rule out a few million people, but for the other tens of millions, there is probably something useful inside this book that could save anywhere from a few thousand to a few hundred thousand dollars over the rest of their lives. Life Improvement: (also known as "self-help") Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Kristen Neff, Ph.D.. Neff's specialty reminds me of Brene' Brown's - a narrow niche of psychological research for which she has chosen to become a deep expert. In Brown's case it's empathy while in Neff's case it's self-compassion. I didn't even know what self-compassion meant when I began reading and studying Neff's work about three years ago. Lest it be confused with becoming a tender-hearted wuss, Neff makes clear that self-compassion requires a ferociousness that is societally frowned upon in women. How to act on that feeling while also expressing self-compassion is the balancing act which she skillfully examines and explains. Not a book, but an app: Insight Timer. I keep this one in my Mental Health folder on the first screen of my phone. It's my go-to app first thing in the morning for a guided meditation or simple calming wake-up music (try for example, "A New Day," by Wakes/Ada and Nathan). Later I consult it again when I need to get to (or get back to) sleep. The teachers are well-vetted by IT and then rated by worldwide listeners. Guided practices span the gamut of spiritual and religious traditions. There are musicians in varied stress-relieving genres to choose from (calming piano - try Chris Collins; cello - try The Wong Janice; recorded nature sounds - Insight Timer Earth). Currently IT claims 28 million listeners. Fiction On the fun side, here were 2 picks for fiction.…
My story: The following is an updated excerpt from the introduction to my book, The Mindful Money Mentality: How To Find Balance in Your Financial Future (Porchview Publishing, $20). As a behavioral economist (in a field that studies the psychology of personal economic decisions), I have a keen interest in our relationships with money. I care about maximizing its usefulness as a tool rather than elevating its status as an end. But for much of my life, I had those two reversed. I did my own financial planning backwards. I put the pursuit of money first, life second, and myself last. In other words, I floated in a fog about my attachment to money, swept along by society’s encouragement and my own beliefs. My money mentality was not aware, awake, or intentional. It was unconscious. It was anything but mindful. Ironically, I was one of those successful savers. Starting when I was a teenager, I kept track of every penny I spent. I could not wait until my 21st birthday so I could start contributing to the 401(k) at work. Money as the Main Goal In my 20s and 30s, I focused on money as an end, determined to define my success as a person by the amount of money I made. As a result, I made some choices that caused me, and those around me, to suffer unnecessarily. I fretted over how much essential things cost. It hurt me to spend on myself for anything nice, much less on anybody else. I now realize that having money was a way to feel good about myself. In my mind, my earnings defined my success as a person. This is the area where I was most imbalanced, and I regret some of the decisions I made then. After college, I joined a Miami bank training program. I saw that most of the trainees chose to live in a new suburban complex requiring a Metro commute. I chose to live in cheaper North Miami, only ten minutes from downtown, proud that I was saving on rent, gas, and Metro fares. The building was newly renovated but occupied mostly by taxi drivers who kept odd hours, and the crime rate was higher in my neighborhood. My car was broken into in the parking garage. I did not get much exercise because, as a 5-foot-3-inch 20-year-old, I didn’t feel safe going outside. Further, while my coworkers were discussing the fun evenings they had had at south Miami neighborhood restaurants, I thought, “Bah, humbug!” I was proud not to “waste” my money on frivolities. I ate mostly sauteed vegetables and microwave popcorn in my apartment. Over the seven-month training program, I not only did not exercise enough, I unconsciously distanced myself from the camaraderie of the other trainees. While I eventually fixed the exercise deficiency later in life, the friendships I might have made and enjoyed today are absent. A Vicious Cycle It was not easy for me to accept that what you have is…
Roth: to convert or not to convert. Converting to a Roth IRA might be worth consideration if you have been saving for retirement in a traditional IRA (TIRA) As you may know, when it's time to take the money out of your TIRA, you will owe tax on the amount you withdraw (called a "distribution"). So when you think of the balance in your TIRAs, give that number a haircut of 10% - 40% (using current tax rates) that will be sent to Uncle Sam. Further, when you reach age 73 or 75 (depending on your birth year) whether you need money or not, you will be required to take an IRS-calculated required minimum distribution (RMD). The RMD income can push you into the next tax bracket or, more commonly, into a higher bracket for Medicare premium surcharges. Surcharges mean you could pay up to several hundred dollars more per month for Medicare. Finally, if you are married and leave TIRAs to your spouse, he or she must eventually take RMDs. When they start filing as single the year after you die, there is a greater likelihood the RMD will push them into the higher income tax or Medicare surcharge brackets. Review of Roth Advantages Roth's have several advantages over traditional retirement accounts (TRAs). 1) When you think of the balance in a Roth IRA, there is no tax haircut. Money in a Roth grows tax-free forever. That's a bigger balance to spend on world cruises, grandchildren, or a Winnebago. 2) Your heirs will have to withdraw the Roth money if you don't, but they won't owe tax then, either. 3) Roths have no RMDs. So that might save you from Medicare surcharges and other additional taxes such as the Net Investment Income tax (NIIT). 4) If you are married and die before your spouse, your spouse will not have to take RMDs from them. 5) If you have a trust, it may be much more beneficial to leave a Roth to the trust than a TIRA. Ask your CPA or tax attorney about this one. What's the Catch with Roths? What's the catch? The amount of TIRA that you convert to a Roth gets taxed in the year you make the conversion. If you convert $100,000 this year, that's $100,000 added to your income. So if you are still working, and you convert some or all of your retirement money to a Roth, you will be paying tax on the converted amount at today's tax rates, hoping/betting that the growth in the Roth will make the extra tax bite today worthwhile later. For the hope/bet to have the best chance to work, a few things help: - You expect to be in a the same or higher tax bracket after you quit working. Otherwise you could wait and pay less tax on the conversion at a lower tax bracket later. - You don't expect to need the money in the Roth for many years. To reap the biggest benefit,…
5 myths about 401(K) rollovers: Should 401Ks (or 403bs, 457s, or TSPs) always be rolled over? Often, soon-to-be retirees are led to believe their impending retirement forces a deadline or urgency to “do something” about their retirement plan account. Several understandable myths surround the mystery of what actually happens to your money when leaving your employer. Below are five of them. Myth 1: When you separate from your employer, you must take your retirement plan account (401K/403B/457/TSP) with you. Actually very few employer plans require employees to leave the plan upon retirement. You have a choice to leave the account right where it is. This includes if you are widowed and your spouse was the employee. More than likely, you can stay with the retirement plan if you want to. The rules for your employer can be verified by checking with your human resources department, or obtaining a copy of your plan’s complete document, usually available at your account’s website. Myth 2: When you separate from your employer, it’s always best to take your retirement plan account with you. Some people might not have the greatest level of fondness for their employer and want to sever ties with anything having to do with the company. While understandable, it’s important to separate facts from feelings about your money. Due to tighter ERISA and Department of Labor regulations, it’s very unwise for employers to have their employees’ retirement plan limited to only high-fee, high-risk, or self-serving fund options. Chances are that what’s available there is worth taking a more in-depth look. On the question of where you are best served with your retirement funds, here is where you will get a wide range of answers. You can ask friends, family, the internet, co-workers, and even ChatGPT and go in circles. Whether rolling over your retirement plan account is in your best interest depends on a few different factors. Keep reading to myths 3, 4, and 5 to find out more. Myth 3: Retirement plan accounts have no impact on the ability to do a Roth conversion. False. This particularly applies to people who have IRAs outside of their employer retirement plan. If you are considering converting part of an IRA you already own outside of a retirement plan to a Roth, the amount you can convert is subject to an arcane concept called the “pro-rata rule.” In general, under this rule, the amount you can convert is subject to a ratio that includes all IRAs, but does not include monies in employer retirement plans. Therefore, if you roll over your retirement plan before doing a Roth conversion, you will likely limit the amount of outside IRAs you can convert. For many people retiring in their 60s and delaying Social Security, Roth conversion opportunities abound. It might very well make sense to wait to roll over at least until age 70 so that you can leave the Roth conversion option more open. Conversely, if all of your retirement money is in the employer…
Using a retirement income buckets approach: One of the most common questions financial planners receive from soon-to-be-retirees is, "What's the safest way to give myself a paycheck once I quit working?" The question often stems from the knowledge that needing to withdraw funds in a down market can be both ill-advised and scary. Those who have been around long enough probably know someone who retired close to a particularly bad market year, like 2001, 2007, 2008, or now 2022. Because that someone had to, or chose to, sell some investments at that terrible time, they ended up living off of much less than they originally thought. This can be a scary thing to watch. It makes one wonder, "How do I make sure that doesn't happen to me?" A Buckets Approach Enter a buckets approach to retirement income. Below is a link to a video excerpt from the online course, "Retirement Readiness," outlining the approach in more detail. (A link to the course can be found at the bottom of this article and here.) A description for each of the buckets follows below. https://youtu.be/mkeqzgJfeFc Bucket 1 - Cash and Money Market Accounts The first bucket will provide your paycheck. Here is how it works. Calculate any retirement income you will have (pension, Social Security, dividends, interest, rental property, for examples); Figure your annual recurring expenses (do not include one-time expenses such as replacing a car, roof, or paying for a special trip or wedding); Subtract 2 from 1 to come up with the difference; and Keep 1 to 2 years of that difference in Bucket 1. For example, Justine retires at 65. She expects to live past age 82 so she is waiting until 70 to claim Social Security. She has a pension of $800/month ($9600/year). Her recurring expenses are $70,000 annually. The annual difference is $70,000 - $9,600 = $60,400. To start retirement, she decides to keep 1.5 years of the difference in Bucket 1 so $60,400 x 1.5 = $90,600. She puts that in a high-yield money market account and sets up an automatic transfer of $5833.33 monthly to her checking account. Voila - she has a new paycheck. When she turns 70, she will collect $45,000 in Social Security. At that time the annual difference will fall to $70,000 - ($9,600 + $45,000) = $15,400. She decides to keep 2 years of the new difference in Bucket 1, so $15,400 x 2 = $30,800. She reduces the monthly transfer from the money market to $1283.33 per month. Bucket 2 - Bonds, CDs, and Bond Funds The second bucket replenishes Bucket 1. As the paychecks come out, the principal in the money market account will naturally decrease. Eventually it will decrease to a level that makes you say, "Yikes! I only have xx in my checking and money market." Everyone has a different level of "Yikes." When the balance approaches your unique Yikes level, a transfer is made from Bucket 2 into Bucket 1. Bucket 2 is comprised…
The best retirement plans start with a plan for a fulfilling life first, then match up the plan with money decisions. That's why good planners ask, what's the money for? For most, it's not to support boredom, stagnation and decline. If you define what an ideal retirement means first for you, then your retirement plan and your retirement life have far better chances of success.