The best reason I ever heard for not seeing an estate planning attorney came from a late client who, upon learning that over half of his estate might be taxed, said, “I don’t mind. The government has a lot of good programs.” (I responded, “Ok. How can you be sure your money will go to the programs you like?”) I don’t believe, despite his political views, that he really wanted to leave half of his money to the government. I do believe it seemed better than addressing his mortality, though.
Talking and thinking about our own death is stressful, so it’s no wonder many people avoid it, deny it, and don’t want to deal with it.
But what if your reason is simply, “It’s too hard to decide”? No doubt about it, estate planning can involve gut-wrenching decisions, like choosing a potential guardian for your minor children. (Ugh.) Or figuring out what’s “equal” vs. what’s “fair.” Who to include and who to exclude? Which charities will handle a bequest most responsibly? Leave money in a lump sum, or spread it out over time? In-laws, multiple marriages, step-relatives, girlfriends, boyfriends….today’s families are complicated. Perhaps you and your spouse or partner disagree. Or you and your children do. The more you delay, the more the questions, and their unknown answers, multiply. You might want to brush it off, like my client, since you “won’t be around anyway to worry about it.” But until then, it can still eat at you.
A lot of people think they must make all the decisions before they go see the attorney. But when you think about it, estate planning attorneys deal with such decisions all the time. Many of them are actually pretty good at suggesting alternatives you might not have considered. Attorneys are more than just note-takers; they are advisers and advocates. The good ones are smart people who love to come up with creative solutions to legal questions. So when I hear someone can’t decide, I encourage them to make the appointment anyway. Addressing our mortality may not be pleasant, but it’s better than being eaten alive by indecision.
Holly P. Donaldson, CFP® writes and consults on the psychology of money. Her fee-only, product-free financial planning practice focuses on increasing financial self-efficacy for those seeking a financial navigator to help them make good decisions. She is the author of The Mindful Money Mentality: How to Find Balance in Your Financial Future (Porchview Publishing, 2013) and publisher of the award-winning monthly e-letter, "The View From the Porch."
With a fully virtual practice in Seminole, Florida, she primarily serves clients located in the Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Clearwater areas. Holly will also work with clients who are a good fit located elsewhere in the United States.
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I find it is most helpful to offer an initial phone consultation so I can better understand your issues and concerns. After the call, we will both know whether there is a fit, or if it makes sense to schedule an appointment. We’ll chat about your needs, your goals, and what steps are right for you.