fee-only financial planning

How I Work Virtually as a CFP®

How I Work Virtually

Although it’s more common to work virtually with a financial advisor than pre-pandemic, many people still have questions about it.

How secure is it to meet virtually? In the beginning of the pandemic there were security concerns about certain online platforms, more notably for telehealth visits than for financial meetings. But the platforms quickly invested in measures that enabled corporations, medical providers, governments, and everyday users to provide a secure place to meet. That being said, no platform is 100% secure. We began with GoToMeeting but now use the Zoom Pro platform because more clients are familiar with Zoom.

How do you get all the documents you need securely? We provide a secure link. You can upload as many documents as you like. We suggest uploading at least 2 weeks before the scheduled meeting.

Will I be able to see my plan clearly on a small screen? We don’t recommend using a smartphone, however, anything from tablets/iPads to full monitors work just fine. We can manually zoom in and out on our end to make the content more viewable on your screen.

What if I need to share my own documents or spreadsheets during the meeting? We can enable two-way screen-sharing so you can share your own documents.

What if the technology breaks? Hey, it happens! We have a couple of backup plans.

What is the backup plan? If the problem is audio, switching to speakerphone is pretty seamless. If the problem is video on one end, we can usually figure the issue out within a few minutes. When there is a video problem on both ends, that usually indicates an internet or connection problem. Although rare, if that happened, we would suggest rescheduling but proceed as audio-only if that’s your wish.

How are you audited or regulated from your home office? We are regulated by the state of Florida who now conducts audits virtually.

How do you keep distractions to a minimum? It’s difficult when the view of the yard, birds and butterflies is so nice! Fortunately the location is quiet except for the occasional leaf blower.

How can I have the best experience meeting virtually with a financial planner? Great question! In the same way we would have you as a guest in person, we want you to be as comfortable as possible during your meeting. Here are a few tips:

  • Consider crafting the ideal spot for you. That might or might not be your office or desk chair. Couches are cool. So are pillows and pets.
  • Dress more comfortably than you would for a meeting in person. Socks and sweatsuits encouraged.
  • When more than one person is participating, we find it makes for a better experience if you each have your own screen. If you are in the same room, turning off one device’s audio will eliminate echo and still allow for us to hear each other just fine.
  • Grab a beverage and your favorite snack.
  • If you feel uncomfortable at any time, don’t hesitate to ask for a break or a few minutes to change rooms/couches/chairs.

Working Virtually Has Advantages for You

People have shared how much they appreciate:

  • Time savings of not traveling to Seminole (no Howard Frankenstein bridge!)
  • Meeting in the comfort of their own home or office
  • Not feeling the need to get dressed up
  • Having their pets close by

Our hope is that by removing pressures of extra time and effort to meet in person, and being a little more comfortable in your own environment, some of the stress that can come with financial planning and decisionmaking is reduced.

What other questions do you have about meeting virtually? What have been your experiences, positive or negative, with virtual meetings? Share your comments and thoughts below, or tell us first-hand by contacting us.

Continue ReadingHow I Work Virtually as a CFP®

Before You Click Renew: Fall Enrollment Reminders

Before you click Renew – Fall Enrollment Reminders.

When it comes to employer, private health, and Medicare benefits, it’s easy to simply renew last year’s choices.

However, it can be worth the extra time to look closely at all options, and how they might have changed.

“Research shows employees only spend 17 minutes electing their benefits, while Netflix users spend an average of 18 minutes deciding what to watch,” according to Kiplinger’s: http://bit.ly/Kiplingers-Benefits.

Under 65: Health Insurance

If you are under 65, check for HSA (Health Savings Account) eligibility on your policy. Contributing to a family HSA can save roughly $2000/year in taxes (depending on your marginal tax bracket). Plus, if you are relatively healthy and do not use the HSA, your earnings grow tax-free until retirement. Click here [https://www.hollydonaldsonfinancialplanner.com/hsas-over-iras/] for the reasons why HSA’s beat IRA’s as retirement accounts.

HSA eligibility, unlike IRA eligibility, is not dependent upon having earned income. The last year you can contribute to an HSA is the year before you turn 65.

65 or Over: Medicare

If you are 65 or over, your first opportunity to enroll begins 3 months before you turn 65 and continues until 3 months after, unless you are still employed. Sign up for Part B at the first opportunity (after leaving your employer), otherwise your premiums increase 8% – 10% per year.

Enrollment for existing Medicare beneficiaries for 2022 runs from October 15 – December 7.

If you are on prescriptions, the formulary – the list of drugs that Part D covers – might have changed. Make sure your prescriptions will still be covered. Stories abound of huge jumps in co-pays after January 1. At www.medicare.gov, you can input your prescriptions and the site will advise you which Part D plan covers the meds you need.

Long-Term Care Insurance

Group long-term care offerings through employers are becoming a benefit of the past. Private policies can be bought with better coverage, but premiums are increasing. If you are at least 40 and have access to a group policy, strongly consider enrollment. Most group policies are portable if you leave the employer. Also consider shopping your group coverage against a private policy.

Long-Term Disability

The younger you are, and the more education you have, then the more likely that your potential earnings capacity over your lifetime, known as your “human capital,” is your biggest financial asset. Protect it with LTD coverage.

We are all more likely to be disabled than to die. Most employers provide short-term disability for 90 days.

Long-term disability coverage, if offered, varies from 40% to 80% of compensation until age 65. Some employers provide the opportunity to purchase supplemental coverage; others don’t.

Finally, check whether you are covered for “own-occupation” or “any-occupation.”

Group Life Insurance

Many employers provide one year’s salary as a default for group life insurance, with the option to purchase more for the employee or the employee’s spouse or domestic partner. It’s usually a good deal.

If you didn’t sign up at your initial enrollment, you may need to submit to a paramedic exam if you request more coverage.

Employer Stock Options/Restricted Stock Purchases

The most common error among holders of options and restricted stock is concentration of investments, and future earnings, in that employer. This is usually because those employees own employer stock outright, plus options, plus more stock in a retirement plan through a company match. That’s a lot of eggs in one basket.

You may be highly satisfied with the company’s potential.  (So were Enron employees.) Stuff happens. Before making major moves, consult a CPA or CFP. Employer stock decisions can have major tax consequences.

These are just a few of several benefits options commonly found with larger employers. Walking through elections with your financial planner is a good idea at enrollment time. Make a special appointment to do so in advance of the holiday crunch. (Book a 90-minute planning appointment for a Financial Checkup direct at: https://go.oncehub.com/HollyDMeetings)

For questions about planning services, pick the best time for Holly to call you: https://go.oncehub.com/hollypthomas.

Continue ReadingBefore You Click Renew: Fall Enrollment Reminders

Death By A Thousand Indecisions

indecisions

“Then indecision brings its own delays, And days are lost lamenting over lost days. Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute; What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust

Death by a thousand indecisions. As Goethe asked, are you “in earnest”? When it comes to decisionmaking, sometimes it’s quick: Ready-Fire-Aim. With other decisions, we take our sweet time. How much is indecision costing you?

Like death from a thousand cuts, indecisions can slowly deplete our energy, leaving little behind for ourselves or others.

Decisions are Draining

That’s because decisions are draining. Neuropsychologists like Dr. Moira Somers tell us that decisionmaking depletes our mental energy. According to Dr. Somers, every day we wake up with a finite amount of mental energy. As the day goes by, the more decisions we make, the less energy we have. And the bigger they are, the more energy they use.

Think about life’s transitions. One reason transition times, good or sad, are so stressful and exhausting – a move, a death, retirement, a child, a divorce – is the many seemingly small, plus a few momentous, decisions.

Further, lack of sleep, hunger, grief or even excitement can start the whole day off depleted.

Then, every indecision we “make” is a decision. In fact, a pattern of indecisions can take physical form, and stress us out every time we see it.

What does not-deciding look like? A pile of unfiled papers. Empty boxes stacked in the garage. The “miscellaneous drawer” in the kitchen. The “junk room.” Scattered financial accounts in too many places. Unfinished projects.

With a finite amount of mental energy at hand, who can blame any of us for having some kind of to-be-decided pile/stack/assortment hanging over us all the time?

Dealing with Indecision

What to do about it?

  • Make big decisions in the morning, before depletion sets in.
  • Automate it: Use a system to take care of small decisions automatically
  • Eliminate it: Ask often, “How important is it?”
  • Date-Activate it: Calendar the decision to deal with and be done
  • Delegate it: Ask for help

Automate It

An automation example I love and have yet to implement is the decision of what to wear. Michael Kitces, a noted financial expert, famously has a closet full of the same blue shirts, pants, and shoes. One less decision each day for a busy guy.

Another example is cooking. Thanks to Cassy Joy Garcia’s book, Cook Once: Eat All Week, our household now pre-preps ingredients on Sunday. Then, each work night is 15-30 minutes to assemble and cook the ingredients with pre-planned healthy recipes. The meals are delicious, but the best part is not having to make the decision of what’s for dinner. Hallelujah.

Eliminate It

In the summer of 2021 I began thinking about a new car. My financial plan called for me to sell my would-be 7 year old car in January 2022 and buy another one. I couldn’t decide what kind of car to buy.

Aware that the indecision was draining me, I wondered why I was having such a hard time deciding. Then it hit me. I didn’t need a new car. In fact, I didn’t need a car at all. My husband and I had both switched to working from home. Why did I need a shiny hunk of metal to sit in the garage? We had my husband’s car, which was only 2 years old. We ran a 6 week experiment without using my car to see if it caused any problems.

When we saw that it didn’t, I felt immense relief. This told me I was making the right decision. Besides, it was a good time to sell a used car. $15,000 later, we are both very happy about eliminating that decision!

Date-Activate It

My calendar rules my life. It tells me what to do, where, and when. If this is not you, then this tip might not work.

One decision that goes on the calendar every year is whether to take a ski trip and if so, where. The local ski clubs publish their trips around August/September. Ski season pass discounts usually end on Labor Day. So I have the calendar marked for that timeframe to do my research, poll my skiing girlfriends, and make the decision. While it feels sooner in the season than I would like to make a commitment, if I did not give myself a deadline, I would dilly dally into December as all of the good trips filled up. And in the meantime, I would be spending a huge amount of mental energy on something that’s supposed to be fun.

Delegate It

Part of my indecision problem has been the flawed belief that I should be able to do everything myself (and perfectly, which is a topic for another blog post).

However, after a divorce, when my brain was extra foggy, I had significant success with hiring a friend to help organize. At the same time, I had estate planning documents updated with a local attorney. With my friend’s insight, coordination, and diligence, I quickly had an uber-organized office AND an updated “emergency box.” I felt the fog lifting as things came together.

It turns out that hiring help accelerated my decision making and used less energy. Perhaps this is what Goethe meant by the boldness in beginning. Delegating to others can be bold.

Getting Better and Better

Goethe said in that boldness to begin the decision we find genius, power, and magic. Further, there is a spiraling effect – the fewer decisions left to make, the more time to do what we do best. This is far better than a daily slog through indecision-infused mud.

At some point, with excess energy, I felt ready to give back. Someone close to me suddenly lost her husband and her mother within a three month period. She had an overwhelming number of decisions to make about seemingly small stuff, and was in a grief-stricken state to be doing so. I feIt the capacity to help her. I could not have made that statement before I had my own house in order. I don’t know if that counts as genius, power, and magic, but it felt really good to do.

What About You?

What if you took an indecision pile and automated, eliminated, date-activated, or delegated?

Who might you then be able to help?

Genius, power, and magic are waiting, if we have the boldness to begin.

Continue ReadingDeath By A Thousand Indecisions

Money: Values, Behaviors, Habits and Change

saving money

Money values, behaviors, habits, and change: Perhaps there is something about middle age, or a pandemic, that creates the urge to examine values, behaviors, habits, and change.

At my 25th college reunion, I had breakfast with a college friend who worked for our alma mater, Davidson College. She had attended lots of reunions.

I asked about her observations of reunion attendees. She said something like, “At the 10-year mark, everyone’s comparing notes – who has how many kids, who has graduate degrees, what they did for vacations, what kind of home they live in, etc.”

In other words, their money values tended to be focused on status.

“By the 25th, nearly everyone has experienced some kind of life event, and they are a lot more mellow. The other stuff must not seem as important.”

So, values shift as life unfolds.

Values drive behaviors, which become habits. When we begin to question the behaviors and habits, we become ready for change. And that’s how growth happens. Eventually this process can work its way into finances.

Beginning to Examine Behaviors – Eating Habits

My own path to behavior change didn’t start with money. It started with eating.

One of my first experiences with behavior change was through Weight Watchers. I was 35 years old, 5’3″ and 15 pounds overweight. I decided that I valued being healthy more than enjoying unhealthy food. I lost 20 pounds and gained 5 back, but kept it off.

How did I do it? Tracking and accountability. Whenever my clothes got tight, I would write down everything I ate. This helped me track and change my eating behaviors permanently.

Ironically, tracking and accountability had come naturally to me with money. I wrote my first budget at age 9, and had tracked my money ever since. This made me a good saver, but later I learned it didn’t necessarily mean I had a good relationship with money.

Conversational Habits

Next I moved to healthier conversation habits.

The values of listening well and feeling heard became more important. I learned that “listening” does not mean, “Wait until the other person is finished talking so I can say what I want to say.”

Listening means to suspend all noise and chatter in my head; and reflect on what I am hearing. To eliminate the noise and chatter, I acquired a rule: Anything that I want to say while someone else is talking, I am not allowed to say.

Like any other habit change, it took conscious effort at first. When I think of something I want to say, I let it go, stay present, and listen. I found that, if I truly wanted to understand someone then what I wanted to say would have gotten in the way of that.

My conversational habits, and relationships, improved.

Money Values, Behavior, Habits and Change

My money habits needed improvement too.

I used to overtrack my spending and worry unnecessarily about it. This led to a habit of denying myself some things that would have been convenient, or just enjoyable. Then, like binge eating, I would splurge on something silly or outrageously expensive. Even though the splurges never exceeded the savings, it created big regret and self-criticism.

This roller coaster of emotions tied to money was one of the hardest habits to break. The shift came indirectly through other personal changes wrought through a divorce. Working structured programs with friends who shared similar struggles helped me identify emotions sooner and do something more constructive with them.

This education helped me write The Mindful Money Mentality: How To Find Balance in Your Financial Future, for people who have difficulty spending their savings in ways that bring joy and happiness.

Examining is Easy; Change is Hard

It is easy to underestimate how difficult behavior change can be.

It’s normal to believe we can simply tell ourselves to act differently. We can “just say no” to cookies after dinner, to quit interrupting, or to quit worrying about financial things we cannot control.

Instead, it helps to have a nudge – a program, a structure, a new discipline, or an accountability partner – to complete the transformation from old habits to new ones.

Before you know it, with new habits, a lot of good physical, relational, mental, and financial growth will happen.

Enough good stuff to share at the next college reunion.

Continue ReadingMoney: Values, Behaviors, Habits and Change

Floridians: Wait ‘Til July 1 to Buy Kayaks, Grills and Broadway Passes

Floridians, wait until July 1 to buy that kayak, new grill, or Broadway series pass. The state of Florida has a Freedom Week sales tax holiday encouraging us to a) get outside and b) get back to sharing space with strangers.

The holiday lasts from July 1 to July 7, 2022. Depending on the county in which you live, that could mean a 6% to 8% savings.

Two Exemption Categories

The savings cover two main categories: a) outdoor activity supplies and b) events.

“Outdoor activity supplies” include everything from bug spray to gas grills (the first $500 – sorry, gourmet grillers). Reading the list of exempted items makes me want to spend the rest of the summer in the water (many of these do have limits ranging from $500 down to $10):

  • canoes and kayaks
  • water skis and wakeboards
  • paddleboards and surfboards
  • coolers
  • goggles, snorkels, and masks
  • sunglasses and sunscreen
  • rods, reels, bait and tackle

For woodsy type landlubbers, exempt (also with limits) are:

  • binoculars
  • bicycles
  • bug spray
  • camping supplies
  • outdoor gas or charcoal grills

Camping supplies include stoves, tents, collapsible chairs, lanterns, flashlights, and sleeping bags. (Gee, this also reads like my hurricane preparedness list.)

Events and Annual Passes

For even more fun, “events” include tickets to any concert, movie, game, fair, festival, cultural event, or gym with attendance dates through December 31, 2022. Note: You have to buy the ticket between July 1 and July 7 for any event scheduled through the rest of 2022 to get the exemption.

Events also include annual passes to:

  • museums
  • theaters (hello, Broadway series, orchestra, and opera)
  • state parks (which I didn’t know they charged sales tax on in the first place?)

Despite its property-tax-free status (for now), sorry, but Disney does not count as a state park.

No limits on the cost for the passes. So if you’re considering venturing out for the Broadway series, purchasing the pass between July 1 and July 7 might save you enough to cover dinners before the shows.

For a complete description, see the state of Florida’s TIP sheet at: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-04.pdf

There are other sales tax holidays also going on right now. Read the comprehensive list here and mark your calendar for May of next year to watch this space for 2023: Inflation Relief: Florida 2022 Sales Tax Holidays

How will you take advantage of the Freedom Week sales tax holiday?? Leave a comment below.

Continue ReadingFloridians: Wait ‘Til July 1 to Buy Kayaks, Grills and Broadway Passes

Inflation Relief: Florida 2022 Sales Tax Holidays

Inflation relief: Florida 2022 Sales Tax Holidays. In inflationary times, every bit of savings can help. Florida sales tax runs anywhere from 6% to 8%, depending upon the county where you are making the purchase. Several years ago the Florida legislature started sales tax “holidays,” beginning with the back-to-school season.

Flush with a budget surplus this year, the legislature passed several more holidays which begin this summer. Some of them last a week, while others last up to 2 years. For a major purchase you might be considering, it pays to know the timetables.

Disaster Preparedness: May 28 – June 10, 2022

This has been an annual sales tax holiday for a few years now. If you are in or near Florida, and getting low on batteries, bungee cords, coolers, tarps, portable generator(s?), or several other items listed in the link below, you can save the sales tax by waiting until the week of May 28 to stock up.

Of note, the holiday includes all kinds of pet provisions – pet food, pet kennels, pet beds, leashes, and even pet waste disposal bags.

Here is the link to the 2022 list of exempted disaster preparedness items:

https://revenuelaw.floridarevenue.com/LawLibraryDocuments/2020/05/TIP-123007_TIP_20A01-02_FINAL_RLL.pdf

Big Deal – Home Hardening Disaster Preparedness: July 1, 2022 – June 30, 2024

This one is a bigger deal and can save major bucks. Impact-resistant windows, doors, and garage doors will be fully exempt from sales tax for 2 years starting July 1.

So if you are planning a major home improvement, talk to your contractor about placing the order after June 30. On a $5,000 order, in a 7% sales tax county, that’s a $350 savings.

Unlike most of the other holidays, this exemption also applies to commercial orders.

More detail on home hardening exemptions here: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-07.pdf

Also Big Deal – Appliances: July 1, 2022 – June 30, 2023

Thinking about replacing appliances? Wait until July 1 and you can save the sales tax on Energy Star appliances. High-end appliances are not included, and the definition of “high-end” appears to be about $1500 ($3000 for refrigerators). $1500 x 7% = $105 in possible savings.

More detail on appliance exemptions here: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-05.pdf

Children’s Books: May 14 – August 14, 2022

Sales tax on any book written for children under 12 is waived all summer. One of my personal favorites: The Four Money Bears by Mac Gardner. This website also has a fun financial literacy game for kids called “Berryville.”

Fun Events, Outdoor Supplies and Annual Passes: July 1 – July 7, 2022

This sales tax holiday began during the pandemic in 2020. Event tickets, camping supplies, paddle boards, kayaks, binoculars, grills, and bicycles are some of the larger ticket items included in the holiday.

Of note also – annual or season passes for museums, theater series, ballet, and state parks.

New for 2022: pool supplies and parts.

The complete list for events and supplies during “Freedom Week” is here: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-04.pdf

Children’s Diapers, Clothing and Shoes: July 1, 2022 – June 30, 2023

This has been proposed but blocked in the past. Finally parents and guardians of young kids will get a little relief.

But this is one of two holidays (the other being back-to-school) where the state outlines what is excluded, in addition to what is included. And, as I wrote in 2021, the inclusions and exclusions aren’t always easy to guess.

What constitutes “clothing” and “shoes” for this holiday for toddlers and babies? A few head-scratchers:

Snow ski boots – Yes; Fishing boots/waders – No

Snow ski suits – Yes; Skin diving suits – No

Hunting vests – Yes; Life jackets – No

Garden gloves – Yes; Bicycle gloves – No

Click for the complete list of diapers, clothing and shoes: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-06.pdf

Back-to-School: July 25 – August 7, 2022

New exemptions for 2022 include learning aids like puzzles, flash cards, and games.

See this year’s complete back-to-school list: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-08.pdf

New Holidays for 2022: Labor Day/Skilled Workers September 3 – September 9, 2022

Larger-ticket items on the “Tool Time” holiday include power tools under $300, power tool batteries, toolboxes, and work boots. It also includes shop lights, plumbing tools, and duffle bags.

More detail on “Tool Time” exemptions here: https://floridarevenue.com/taxes/tips/Documents/TIP_22A01-09.pdf

A Lack of Preparation Story

During Hurricane Irma in 2017, the middle of the spaghetti models 5 days out showed the storm was likely going up Florida’s east coast. This is the opposite coast from where we live. My husband and I got double-busy with clients who wanted to squeeze in appointments before it hit. We got caught up in the work and ignored our own preparations. I didn’t fill up my car, and we didn’t check our stock of Coleman stove propane canisters. By the time the forecast shifted, there was no gas to be found – for the car, for the stove – of any kind, anywhere.

Irma left us without power for 7 days. Cooking on a tiny charcoal grill in the backyard got old quickly. After 3 days, when the charcoal started getting low, the temperature inside climbed to 83 with humidity of 100, and the frozen fish was rotting, we called it quits and found a hotel with electricity that had managed to reopen.

For a Florida native, experienced with hurricanes, whose job title includes the word “planner,” it felt like I should have done better.

Lesson Learned

Next time I will pay attention to all the strings on the spaghetti model, not just the ones in the middle.

The sales tax waiver is a needed nudge for procrastinators like me. Disasters of all different sorts happen. Take advantage of the holidays to prepare yourself, and enjoy a little inflation relief.

Have you found a great deal using a sales tax holiday? Please do share by leaving a comment.

Continue ReadingInflation Relief: Florida 2022 Sales Tax Holidays

What Is Financial Anorexia?

What is financial anorexia? Financial anorexia is a type of spending disorder. People who suffer from the eating disorder of anorexia may obsess about food and the number on the scale. People who suffer from the financial disorder may obsess about money and the number on their statement(s). For those suffering – and it is indeed suffering – from financial anorexia, they never believe they have enough to enjoy what they’ve got.

According to Ken Donaldson, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor in Seminole, Florida, “Anorexia is characterized by a distortion of perception.” Someone suffering from the eating disorder believes they still need to lose a few extra pounds, when to everyone else it’s clear they are harming themselves. Someone suffering from the financial one believes they still need more money, when it’s clear they are depriving themselves.

While the eating disorder of anorexia can be fatal, financial anorexia can be dangerous to mental health, friendships, and family relationships. Think about how it feels to be with someone engaged more in extreme deprivation than in enjoying life’s simple pleasures.

Where Does Financial Anorexia Come From?

Anorexia is fueled by isolation – the more the sufferer depends upon their own distorted perception, the worse their condition becomes. For example, Ebenezer Scrooge (in the beginning of Dickens’ tale), is an isolated penny-pincher and money hoarder. He is the stereotype of the financial anorexic.

Additionally, our culture still worships conspicuous wealth and Twiggy-like figures. “You can’t be too rich or too thin,” sums it up.

Most people understand the “too thin” part, but “too rich”? Is it possible to be “too rich”? Financial anorexics typically accumulate an abundance of resources. Their wealth does not come from a healthy relationship with money. Rather, fear is at its root. They might be “too rich” for their actual needs. Further, the more they have, the more they have to lose, or fear losing.

What are they afraid of? Fears might include:

  • that it will disappear tomorrow in a catastrophic world event;
  • a very expensive health issue;
  • hyper-inflation;
  • becoming dependent upon adult children;
  • “spoiling” family members; or
  • that self-worth will fall in lockstep with net worth.

Certainly some of these things can and do happen. Yet our societal messages, and brains wired to look out for danger, emphasize catastrophic scenarios past the point of their actual probability. At some point in life, many financial anorexics realize, to their immense regret, that they worried more about what might happen, and didn’t, than enjoyed what they actually had.

What Can Be Done About It?

Exposure to new information sources is one method of help. According to Donaldson, “New information will disrupt the pattern.” Support groups, a counselor, and therapy can provide external points of view. For financial anorexia, a visit with an understanding financial professional, who can provide concrete reassurance, often is a good first step.

Sometimes the new information has to come from, unfortunately, from a painful life-altering event. How did Scrooge turn around? By exposure to his past, present, and future if he continued on his course. The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future showed him more to be afraid of than the fears he made up for himself.

At some point, it makes sense to ask a few questions:

What were all those years of saving for?

How much is too much to spend on seeing family or friends one more time per year? 

How soon is too soon to leave a stressful, unhappy job if it’s taking years off of your life?

What is it truly worth to take the trip (safely, of course) you have been dreaming about for so many years?

How much is too much to spend on self-care like a massage, therapy sessions, or a manicure?

What if the thing to be afraid of is completely unknowable right now and wouldn’t be solved with money anyway? What would change?

Working With an Understanding Professional

A 2017 study sponsored by the CFP Board supported the psychological benefits of working with a financial professional. The study concluded, based upon a survey of over 800 consumers, that, “Working with a CFP® professional ultimately removes the negativity consumers experience relating to their finances and instead elicits feelings of confidence, optimism, ease, and security.”

Confidence, optimism, ease, and security. Those sound a lot better than catastrophes, worry, and fear.

How do you want to feel about your financial future? Share your thoughts below.

Want more information about financial psychology? Sign up for our monthly e-letter, schedule a call, or check out Chapters 1 – 3 of The Mindful Money Mentality: How To Find Balance in Your Financial Future.​

Continue ReadingWhat Is Financial Anorexia?

What’s a Holiday Spending Style?

what's a holiday spending style

What’s a holiday spending style? It’s the approach you take to spending money on others.

How do you decide what to spend at the holidays, and on whom? In her program, Money Habitudes http://www.moneyhabitudes.com, Dr. Syble Solomon breaks down our money habits and attitudes into several different styles. Here are how a few of those styles might apply to holiday spending.

Spending Style: Status

After earning my first real money at 15, I made a list and a budget for each person on it. A few years later, at age 20, I looked at the list of names, each with a dollar sign beside them, and thought “Yikes!” It could appear as if each person had a price tag.

At the time, I didn’t know it, but I was operating under one of Dr. Solomon’s six spending styles, the one involving “status.” In other words, I was too concerned what other people would think about my spending decisions, and as a result, I spent too much.

So next,  I made a “total” budget, and tried to keep track as I went along on how I was doing. Yet that didn’t work very well, since I could always find an excuse to break the budget on something to keep it “fair.”

Spending Style: Security

If you spend very little on others, and on yourself, because you are concerned you may need it for an emergency, you might have the “security” spending style. You might do the bare minimum necessary to get invited back to next year’s turkey dinner. Or you might find ways to celebrate other than spending money.

Spending Style: Idealist

Idealist – If you reject the materialism of the holidays, then you might give everyone something home-made, like cookies, or your own artistic creation. You have the hardest time of all styles making a spending plan, because you despise handling money matters.

Spending Style: Spontaneous

This style can’t wait to see what great ideas are presented each year by retailers. Perhaps you make a spending plan, but you have a tough time sticking to it because of all the fun temptations and opportunities to purchase the perfect gifts presented to you right before checking out.

Spending Style: Caretaker

Caretakers see gift-giving as a way to show how much you care about people. Your spending plan might be more generous than other spending styles (but hopefully not more generous than is financially wise).

Spending Style: Goal-Oriented

Your most important concern is staying within your spending plan. It may take you longer to get your shopping done in order to find the right gift-cost combinations.

What’s Your Style?

If you exhibit more than one holiday spending style, that is a good thing. The key is not to take any one style to an extreme. If you can make a spending plan that is wise for your situation, shows your love and affection for others, and still allows for some guilt-free spontaneity, you have probably found the combination that will bring you, and those you care about, lots of joy this holiday season.

For more on the psychology of money, see The Mindful Money Mentality: How to Find Balance in Your Financial Future.

Or to schedule a call to talk about money matters on your mind, click here.

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Decision Fatigue and Shopping

retail shopping fatigue

Decision fatigue is a real thing. I discovered this poignantly on a recent shopping trip. The mission was simple: Buy a spice rack. I figured the best shot was at Bed Bath Beyond (BBB); a store I had not entered in over a year, much less at the holidays. I had a specific size and type in mind, so there was no doubt BBB would provide all the choices I needed. Little did I know that trip would be the beginning of the end of my day’s productivity.

Upon entering, I scanned quickly, bypassing a cart to stay focused on the single item I wanted. Smugly, I glided past the holiday specials to the kitchen department. Lo and behold, there were spice racks. And all kinds of other racks. An embarrassment of choices.

Because I like choices (or thought I did until this day), before long, I was nose to nose with shelves and shelves of plastic, rubber, wood, aluminum, and chrome gadgets, and doodads for kitchen storage problems I didn’t even know I had. It was an assault on my single-mindedness. More than once, something other than a spice rack caught my eye. At first, I had the mental wherewithal to ignore them.

Decision Fatigue Begins

As the minutes wore on, my brain was presented with dozens of items for which a decision had to be made. Does it look like what I came for? If yes, is it the right size and type? If no, move to next item. As this process continued, some strangely gleeful part of my brain, a la Martha Stewart, said, “It’s not the spice rack, but….is it something I COULD use? Hmmmm…it looks very handy. And sleek, too! After all….maybe it could make even more room in the cabinet?” The cabinet, of course, had nothing to do with the spice rack.

“STOP IT,” another Jean-Chatzky-part of my brain, said. “You are here to get the spice rack. Move on.”

Next doodad. Does this look like the spice rack? No, not quite. Yet, the label showed the entire matching doodad set in a fantasy-organized kitchen. Then that Martha Stewart voice again, “Oh, wouldn’t it be cool if my whole kitchen looked like this doodad’s label?”

“STOP IT,” Jean intervened. “You would have to buy every doodad like it in here, which is a) exactly what you did not come here to do and b) doesn’t even include a spice rack. Next item!”

And so it went….back and forth over a dozen items for fifteen minutes. My mental wherewithal was waning.

Finally, I found exactly what I was looking for and grabbed it.

Decision Fatigue Leads to Aimless Shopping

By then, Martha and Jean had gone 144 rounds. I felt drained. So why did I feel like, oh, taking a look around? Just to see if there was something I couldn’t live without? I got to the bath side and wondered what got into me.

To check out, I had to walk the gauntlet of holiday specials again. I actually pondered chocolates. That’s how beaten-down my willpower was.

When I left the store only $8.35 poorer, I felt like Rocky – beat up, but victorious.

I needed a nap.

Emptying the Decisionmaking Fuel Tank

Dr. Moira Somers, a decision fatigue expert, talks about the mental energy required to make decisions, particularly ones avoiding temptation. It seems we wake up each day with a finite amount of mental decisionmaking energy, like a full tank of fuel. After exhausting our tank, it’s free-for-all shopping, chocolate, smoking, sleeping, nagging, drinking, or whatever your personal favorite fallback behavior happens to be. That devilish irrational voice, (“it’s ok to have it this time” “I won’t do it again” “I can make it up later”) is most powerful when we’re depleted.

To make it more challenging, now we have online shopping. Savvy retailers are perfecting the presentation of temptations on our phones as well as they do in stores. It’s devilishly easy (and I confess, enjoyable) to click and shop.

Finally, stress of any kind (had a little bit of that the last 2 years?) burns fuel in the tank too. When we worry, we erode the ability to resist spontaneous decisions we later regret.

How To Keep the Tank Full

Some solutions? Plenty of sleep. Meditation and mindfulness. Frequent rest breaks. Having someone with whom you can share your struggles.

Also, put fewer decisions into every day by asking whether they can be:

  • automated
  • delegated
  • eliminated or
  • date-activated (meaning putting it on the calendar so it doesn’t take up space in your head).

For more on decision fatigue, see Dr. Somers’ work at http://moneymindandmeaning.com, or Chapter 6 of The Mindful Money Mentality: How To Find Balance in Your Financial Future.

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Channeling Jeff Foxworthy – You Might Want a Trust If….

“Do I need a trust?” Although it’s a legal question, it’s frequently asked of financial advisors. What do they say? 

“Hey, I’m not an attorney,” is one possible—but maybe not the most helpful—answer. 

“Hey, I’m not an attorney, but I can play one,” may be polite, but inadvisable. 

“That’s interesting you bring that up. I’m curious how you heard about trusts.” This reply seems a little better. It keeps the focus on the questioner, and it’s pretty safe legally. 

Pros and Cons of Trusts 

Answers people may give range from, “I dunno,” to citations of articles, websites, conversations with friends, family members, or even an estate planning attorney. All of those mixed messages can get pretty confusing. 

For some people, trusts are a mysterious-yet-evil domain of the ultra-rich. This belief isn’t surprising. When was the last time you saw positive media coverage of a trust? It typically pops up when a billionaire’s “trust fund baby” is arrested. 

There are dozens of kinds of trusts. For this post, “trust” means a revocable living trust. They tend to be the most common and relevant. 

Trusts aren’t for everyone. They are costly to set up. Some people have difficulty implementing and maintaining them. They are powerful. Scary powerful, sometimes.

 Rather than answering, “Do I need a trust?” directly, I prefer to channel comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s famous phrase, “You might be a redneck if …” (anyone under 40 may have to look him up). It seems to help people discover for themselves whether a trust might be useful.

 You Might Want a Trust If….7 Reasons

 1. If you own property in more than one state or country, you might want a trust.

 Trusts avoid probate—if drafted, executed, and implemented properly. Property in two states/countries means probate in two states/countries. In many states, probate attorneys charge a percentage of the probated asset value. Dollars spent now on a trust could seem small compared to the dollars spent on lawyers and court fees in two places later.

2. If you are concerned about a grown child’s ability to handle money, you might want a trust.

 The child gets the money, no strings attached, if left through a joint account, will, payable-on-death (POD) designation, or beneficiary designation. Trusts let you build strings. One common example is to pay one-third of principal at age 30, one-third at age 35, and the remainder at age 40. As your family ages and changes, you can revise trust provisions like these. Revocable living trusts are amendable.

3. If you have a concern about a child’s current marriage, you might want a trust.

Trusts can be written so that inherited assets can be protected in a divorce. Assets inherited other ways, especially if commingled with other marital assets, can be harder to protect.

4. If you have a concern about a child’s future marriage, you might want a trust.

Trust provisions can be written for future spouses, too.

5. If you aren’t as concerned about dying as living a long time with chronic illness or dementia, you might want a trust.

What happens if you’re unable to manage your finances? People often don’t consider that a will only applies upon death. That’s why they should have a power of attorney (POA). Although much work has been done to get institutional agreement on POAs, your designated POA person might still face a custodian, attorney, or title company who won’t recognize it, or will at least give your person a hard time about it.

If an asset is in a trust, your person—the trustee or co-trustee—generally faces fewer roadblocks than with the POA.

6. If you are in a second (or later) marriage and have children from a previous one, you might want a trust.

Let’s say you both agree that the spouse gets the house, but the kids get the money you brought to the marriage. With a will and beneficiary designations, this basic idea can be accomplished. Sometimes life (and death) work out that simply, yet sometimes they don’t. (See last point.)

It’s possible your spouse could be left without enough money to live in the house, or the kids could be left with nothing. If either of those scenarios bothers you, a trust can allow for changing circumstances as you both age.

7. If you care about a loved one’s vulnerability in their time of grief, you might want a trust.

Probate is public. If you’ve ever known someone who has been through it, then you are familiar with the annoying phone calls and direct mail received after losing someone. If you haven’t, you might be shocked to know that … people troll public records.

Some trolls, I mean, people, especially like the records that declare which investment account(s) and which beach house go to whom. Then, out of the goodness of their hearts, they find the grieving loved one and offer to provide assistance and support in their time of need. (Ahem.)

Unlike probate, transferring property through a trust happens privately.

Ask Your Attorney

In summary, these are only seven of several reasons you might want a trust. But the best person to ask is a board-certified estate planning attorney. Find one through your local estate planning council (www.naepc.org) or ask your financial advisor for references.

Continue ReadingChanneling Jeff Foxworthy – You Might Want a Trust If….